More Thoughts on the Valpo Weekend

I had the privilege of spending much of the day Friday, December 13 then all day Saturday and Sunday with my kids. We were in Valparaiso, IN to share in the joy of Kristi graduating with her BSN degree from VU. Daughter Jenny flew in from Minneapolis, I drove from Arkansas, and Kris was home. So began a remarkable weekend for me.

We spent time in downtown Chicago and had a ball. We toured the Willis Tower, known to us as the Sear's Tower which was a remarkable experience. I had never been there and the kids had been there maybe 20 years ago. They are getting older, damn. It was so much fun to see the city from 1000 feet up. We talked about various landmarks, we took pictures, we laughed and all stood in awe of the little transparent booths that hung out from the side of the building giving you a view of straight down. Roads looked like ribbons and cars seemed as though you could reach down and wind them up to keep them going. Jenny took a picture of her hand lined up over a building that gave the appearance of a giant hand going to pinch the building.

We had a fun cab ride back to the corner of Michigan and Jackson with a cabbie who was from Nigeria. A very nice man and we had a nice conversation with him.

Back to Valpo and our first night sampling the dining spots in Valpo. The decor was wonderful, the food, well so-so. We had intermittent snow throughout the weekend making the whole experience very Christmasy and even more wonderful because we have not shared that experience in many years. We took outdoor pictures of the girls sitting next to a statue of Orville Redenbacher. He was a native son of the area. We took pictures in various place we visited.

We had one of the best times visiting Pick's Bar. I had a real old fashioned and the kids a beer and some wine. But we sat there in the convivial atmosphere of an old tavern with Christmas lights, the people in the bar stopping to converse with us, the bartender very attentive and pleasant. The conversation was light, fun and the laughter of my girls just rang in my ears with such a pleasant sound. I could have stayed there all afternoon.

This really is not about the food and the atmosphere. I was not really looking for any grand insight, just the opportunity to spend some time with my kids. I did come away with a great deal of parental satisfaction and joy. The kids and I had time to sit and visit, to follow a line of thought to some kind of conclusion, to ask questions and learn what rationale might be behind some of the things we talked about.

I was especially honored that they took a real interest in one of my old work war stories. It made me feel good. Not many have heard those stories, my ex-wife did not understand them and there just isn't much interest in what you've done from you more recent employers. So that really made me feel good.

I also came to a better understanding of just how well grounded my kids are in their lives. They have friends, Jenny and her husband Wayne seem to have got the parenting and career efforts sorted out. Kristi has a plan and is executing it to her own need. They are good kids. I find myself having different opinions on some things and similarities on other, but that is how it should be. I believe their mother and I raised them without preconceived notions of who they should be. They appear to have formed their values and ideas and direction, certainly with some hereditary input, but a lot of it on their own. They are both very independent, stand up for themselves with ease and confidence and project the finest I think we can expect of our offspring.

Both girls are extremely close to one another, yet they are different in so many ways. I think that they understand each other without feeling threatened or criticized, I think they care for each other simply because they can. I came away from that weekend assured in my mind that I don't have to worry about either girl. They really do have it all together. I feel privileged that they ask for advice and listen and that we have such a good "grown up" relationship. I am extremely comfortable in their presence and they in mine.

I hope we can repeat that experience again some day. It was a real treasure for me.