Early influences

My family was always fairly athletic. My father played semi-pro basketball back in the 1920's. The team traveled throughout the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and into northern Wisconsin playing other community teams. In fact, at one time they played Michigan State University. My mother was not athletic to my knowledge, but enjoy sports.

My oldest brother was an all round athlete, he was legend in our small community. He played basketball, football and I suppose he ran track. My sister Phylis ran track. So I grew up in a family where there was expectation of participation in athletics. The funny thing is, I think my Dad would've been OK if I hadn't played sports, but I never asked. There seemed to be an unspoken sense that I would follow in my brother's foot steps.

When I was in 8th grade, Joe Hase and I were like brothers. He lived two doors down from me and we 1hunted, fished, played, and hung out together all of the time. However, we got into a routine of being a couple of young smart asses. Whenever we would see Larry Hilberg, Russ Hemingway, and other high school seniors that played sports we would taunt them. Oh my, we should not have done that.

There was no football for 8th grade and below, however there was basket ball and Joe played for the Sacred Heart school, I played for Mather. We had played in a number of memorable games and the played in the county tournament and competed in the finals. We had a lot of good players and the community had already marked out class as a promising group of up and comers.

The fall of 1957 began my freshman year. I went out for football. Joe went out for football. The coach was a man named Ted Wodzinski. He was a graduate of the naval academy and tough as nails. His idea of coaching was to test your manhood or boyhood in our case. Joe and I were invited along with a couple of other freshman to begin working with the varsity. The first days of practice, two-a-days, were held on an old playground just behind the school. It had little grass and was mostly sand. It was hot, we were in pads. We had to run a lot, which I was not accustomed to. After a couple of days of running, and calisthenics we donned our pads and went to hitting drills. That is when our taunting came back to haunt us. The upperclassmen looked huge in their pads. We had one particular drill call bull in the ring. A player was surrounded by other players. They numbered off. Then the coach would call a number and that person would attack you, try to block you out of the circle. You were expected to fight him off. It was brutal and possessing no training on how to handle oneself I was beaten unmercifully. Joe was a quarterback and the backs did not participate in this drill so I took a hell of a beating all by myself. At least that is how I saw it.

In the locker room were were taunted, teased and made to wait while the upperclassmen showered and cleaned up after practice. Fortunately after two weeks JV practice started up and were were sent to the J.V. program. At least we were with kids our own age and had the experience of getting the shit kicked out of us for two weeks earlier.

I developed a dislike for football. Coach Wodzinski was an "in your face" kind of guy and kids then were simply young adults not kids. I was yelled at, hit, I would get so angry I would cry which then brought another form of taunting. I tolerated football and that would be my means of surviving football I tolerated it.

Coach Wodzinski left after our freshman year and a man named Tom Schwalbach became our coach. The world changed. Coach Schwabs as we called him was a focused man. He had been the starting quarterback at Northern Michigan University and was from Escanaba some 70 miles south of Munising. He had a tryout with the Boston Patriots and did not make the team. But he was skilled and liked to play a pro style of offense with lots of passing.

While I tolerated football, I was actually a good athlete. My sophomore year I made all-conference. I was an end and had great hands. Joe was the quarterback and if he could get the ball within 3 feet of me I would most often catch it. I was not fast. Usually my "yac" yards after catch were a few steps and I was down. But if we need yardage for a first down, I was the man. I was written up in the local newspaper, the regional newspaper made mention of me and my Dad was proud, so was my Mom although she worried about me getting hurt.

In the meantime I was gaining notoriety in our community and was firmly ensconced as a "jock." However, I harbored this secret that no one knew, not even Joe. I hated football. I played because I felt I had to. People in town would tell me they remembered my brother Dean. In fact, Dean's legacy was so firm that a number of people in town called me Dean. It pissed me off. I wanted my own name. So, while I hated football, I excelled at it at the high school level.

My Junior year, more passes, more press, and I was named all-conference for the second year and even was named honorable mention all-state. My Dad was proud. He would tell stories about me to other adults while I was present. He and my Mom came to every game, rain, sun, and snow. My Dad would relate stories he had over heard from other people who were fans of the other team or just spectators about the pass catching capability of number 88.

My Senior year was the best ever. Again for three years running I made all conference and again honorable-mention all state. When you consider that Michigan has huge athletic areas down state in the Detroit region, Lansing, Grand Rapids and Muskegeon I was traveling in some pretty rare company.

People now were talking about Tom not Dean. I was no longer mistaken for Dean, I had created my own legend.

Then came college. I still hated football. But I got a small scholarship to play football at Albion College. I was a true small town kid. I loved Munising. I loved my Mom and Dad. I loved my girl Bonnie Dolaskie. She was a year ahead of me and had gone to Albion before me, but I was going to have to go alone. I don't do alone well. Never have. I was going 400 miles away, and I hated football.

The first few days at Albion were intimidating. I made friends with some of my peers and we hung around together. They were good guys, they seemed to love football. The first two days were pictures, running drills, calisthenics and fun. The afternoon of day three was the last of the no pad work. The third days it was to be pads. A big guy, blonde was sitting in the locker room toweling off and said, boy I can hardly wait for the pads tomorrow. Hitting, blood running down your face, bones crunching. It scared the hell out of me. I went to Morley Fraser the head coach, and told him I wanted to quit. Three days, that is all I got in. I spent the night wandering the campus, wandering parts of the town. I ended up in a small chapel off the main Methodist church that dominated the campus and prayed for guidance. No voice spoke to me. No light illuminated some answer and the next day I walked in to the training room and turned my pads in.

I called my Dad with tears in my eyes and my voice. I asked permission to come back home. There was no hesitation, a hearty strong voice came back to me saying we'll be down tomorrow to get you. Of course you can come home, this is home. I was humiliated, beaten, embarrassed and heart-broken.

When I got back to Munising I went up to the football field to see some of my friends still on the high school team. Coach Schwalbach asked what I was doing back in Munising. I told him I had quit. He got angry, he told me that he had written a letter in support of my scholarship and acceptance to the Albion program and that by quitting I had made him look like he didn't know what he was doing. A high school coaches reputation is made by the quality of the players he sends on to the next level. I did not know that. I hurt some more.

I returned to Albion with Bonnie who three years hence would become my wife. I was not a good student. I did not have good study habits, nor was I focused on a career, or anything. College was for fun, drinking and I had direction. I was a C+ student.

For years after I felt the sting of quitting college football. I felt inadequate, humiliated and I regretted more than anything that decision to quit. For years that emotional fracture remained unhealed.

When I finally got my career going at J I Case in the early 70's I began to have success at managing people. Oh, it was tough. I won't go into the early stories of my career here, but I went through the school of hard knocks head first. I do have the ability to be introspective. I learned, I listened and I had men who helped me come to understand there are skills to management. I began to excel. I got on a fast track and moved quickly up the ladder until I ran the assembly division for the Agriculture Tractor Divison of J I Case. I was responsible for the $500 million in tractors sold to American farmers. I was recognized at Case, and I became a legend in the assembly division and the agricultural division of Case.

It was then I forgave myself for the decision I had made. It was in the early 80's that the weight of guilt lifted from my shoulders. I had become a success in what I call the toughest kind of management there is in the world. The production of capital goods in an industrial setting where there is no forgiveness, there is no friendly competition, where the meanest son-of-a-bitch means exactly that. I was successful. I was my own man. I fought internally with the powers to be, I guided people, I lead people and I manipulated people to accomplish outcomes that on the surface seemed impossible. I battled the union, I beat them in arbitration, and I bested them on the floor of that plant. I earned the respect and admiration of my organization, the begrudging respect of corporate powers who know the rough world of industrial management, and I stood tall. I am confident now. I don't shrink from problems. I am analytical, I am damn good at what I do. One of the best.

However, had I not quit football in college, had I made the team and excelled in the game I also know I was too immature to handle success then. I would've been an arrogant ass and my career would not have been what it was. I didn't get rich. I don't have many friends, after all you are not a "change agent' in an organization and make a lot of friends. Friendship to me is deep. I do not allow myself many friends, friendship is not frivolous but carries responsibility and duty. The friends I do have walked that halls of risk and reward with me. They contributed to my success and I to theirs. We are a band of brothers who labored in unrewarding toil that required great sacrifice. It did forge deep bonds that 30 years has not broken.

I am not rich. I don't even have a lot of money. But I know I am good. I know what I did, and I take responsibility for the mistakes and credit for the success. In the end, I am a unique man who has traveled a rough road and at the sunset of my career enjoy its fruits and look back with satisfaction that I survived and overcame.