Lessons we learn from out children

Through the years I think I've got a bit of a reputation for being a talker. Seems like if a void in the conversation occurs I will rush to fill it in. However, I also listen and think about what people say. I've learned a lot through the years from many people I've come in contact with. I can say I think I've grown to be a better person for the lessons I've learned from others.

My daughter Kristi taught me a lesson many years ago. Kristi took years of piano lessons and I always thought was quite accomplished. I had thoughts that some day she would be quite a performance musician. Early in her years, say 9th grade she participated in music festivals in Wisconsin. It got to a point that both she and our younger daughter Jenny participated and I really got to looking forward to those times. We would go to Green Bay where the competition for our region of Wisconsin was held and spend the day among kids, listening to their talent, listening to there talk, and have some family time that to me was quite important.

The first competition we went to Kristi was the sole family competitor, Jenny was too young. I became concerned that Kristi was focused on doing so well that if she didn't score at the highest level her spirit might be crushed. Kristi can tend to be a perfectionist and I think has lead to disappointments in her own capability that can plague all of us. As we were riding to Green Bay I began talking about the fact that she had worked hard in developing her performance, put a lot of time into practice, but even after all that work the possibility existed that she may score less than outstanding. I was trying to point out that much of the pleasure is in the competition not only in winning.

Kristi mulled my parental words of wisdom and then said from her position in the back seat, "Dad, I didn't practice all this time, or work this hard for second place, if I get a second place I'll deal with it then." Ah, the lessons we learn. Sometimes children are wiser than we give think. I always remember that little interchange, I hope I became a little bit more understanding and I know my daughter grew quite mature in my eyes that day.

Since that time I've come to believe through observation that competition is at the very root of all human behavior. We temper it, sometimes we ignore competition, but in the final analysis everything I can think of in the natural world or that of populated by the human race finds its roots in competition. Her in the wisdom of a 14 year old I found the understanding that trying is important, focus on the goal and deal with the outcome later. Thanks for the lesson Kris!