What is a sister?

What is a sister? I’ve been blessed with two. I did not grow up with them;                                            both are quite a bit older than I. One sister was born in 1926 and is 86 years old, the other in 1930 and was 82 when she passed last month. I am 68, quite a few years difference. The older sister was out of the house when I came along, or at least she was gone when my memory kicked in. My sister who just passed was tasked with raising me along with my mom, and I do remember her, but barely.

I do not think we were very close as siblings can be; I was always a pain in the butt for them, or at least the younger sister. I had a brother, but he was even older and passed away some thirty years ago. He was in World War II when I was born and was not a significant factor in my upbringing although he and I did some fishing together and hunted birds together in my early adult years.

My brother has been gone many years and while I do keep track of his family we are not close.  So, what does that have to do with sisters? Nothing. We are not a dysfunctional family, we communicate quite regularly, I maintain a weekly newsletter that reaches out to the clan, and I sense no jealousies, resentments or any manner of disharmony. My remaining sister and I care deeply about one another and greatly miss the two siblings that are gone.

One sister meant a great deal to me. She was always there for me, she offered advice, she offered friendship and she offered unconditional love. The other offered the same, but her nature is more reserved so we don’t relate to one another as well as the younger sister and I did.

One difference between the two sisters is my younger sister raised a family of four with compassion, love, and direction. The older sister raised a single daughter but what I saw there was criticism for behavior that did not exist in the younger sister’s family. It was as though my older sister had a model in mind that her daughter had to fit. My younger sister seemed to have a direction that was flexible and positive that encouraged imagination and freedom. What has been the result? The oldest sister’s daughter is a loving, gracious lady and is in the same profession as her mother. My younger sister’s family is diverse, independent, and remarkably creative, willing to dare new things. Nothing is wrong with either family to my reckoning; it is just in the shading of personality. I love them all and follow their successes as well as rebuffs with great interest and love.

There was something special about my younger sister though. She could make a grey day bright, she could make you feel good about life, she had a zest, a yen to see and try. My older sister is more sedate and structured.  My younger sister was willing to let you try; my older sister seemed to caution you to be careful. My older sister worries about her health and cannot stand to feel ill. My younger sister fought asthma and COPD for years and plowed on unconcerned handling her fears and dealing with her life like a bulldozer. She was busy right up to the end. It is like she ran out of gas, fell over and her motor died. I don’t know what the end of life will spell for my older sister, but it will be different, of that I am sure.