How Late We Learn

I am 64. I have always been very introspective. In fact, in my work life I consider it one of my strongest traits that I have tried to cut through the personal BS and really assess my motives and needs when managing organizations.

Recently though I became aware of a facet I really was ignorant of. I hate structure in my life. I dislike any structure. The more unfettered and freedom I have the better I am. Now for some this may seem logical, doesn't everyone like freedom and unfettered actions. No, not at all. A great number of people like to have structure, rules, procedures, methods and routines. It allows them to have a sense of a pattern in their life and a means to live life in some semblance of rationality.

I am not a rock climber, bungee jumper, daredevil. In fact, I enjoy puttering around the house. I enjoy repairing things and making things work. I have always been an initiator, a driver, but I am not a workaholic. But I do not want anyone providing direction. I'll ask for direction, I'll follow advice, I always have, but I do not want it imposed.

The job I have right now is wonderful. I am able to take my morning exercise, I can arrange a day with my wife to enjoy her company, go shopping or mow the grass. I do have responsibilities, but they are scheduled by me. The few times I have an externally imposed deadline I hate the activity and will fight it even if it only takes a few moments to complete.

Retirement is a puzzlement for me. What will I do with day upon day of choice. Will I make good choices, will I accomplish things, will I be productive and useful in my golden years. Yes, I will. However I will march to my drummer and I do follow that road less traveled. Thank God!